利用者:LauxRouth933
Like a twice-divorced woman in my mid 50's, I discovered myself during the dating world all over again after my second divorce. Hubby #1 and I met in college but hubby #2 and that i met at an online dating service. Internet dating does work. I just decided on a very nice man to marry. We just married for all the wrong reasons.
You see, when my second ex and I first met, there was right now chemistry between us. Sparks flew everywhere. Its intensity was so strong that within 6 weeks of meeting one another, we were already planning a wedding. Saying good-bye was so difficult and left me in tears each time we parted ways. I could not stand being without him at my side and I couldn't wait until your day we would live together as husband and wife.
The romance we shared continuously tugged at my heart. I'd never felt this way before. Although I could see his shortcomings, the "chemistry" between us was so intense that I totally overlooked any negative issues, excusing them as behaviors that would somehow change because of our love over time.
Should you read enough online profiles, you will find that most men are looking for "CHEMISTRY" as the barometer for success on the first date. We all want to fall madly in love the moment they set eyes on one another and that is exactly what we'd happen to us! Our first coffee date turned from the half hour park and fly into an 8-hour marathon. The energetic vibes between us were magnified. Have you ever felt like you knew someone the second you met them? That's the way it felt with my second husband. Within minutes, I felt like I'd known him my entire life.
Some chemistry is a great thing. You absolutely do need to click on certain levels. You need to have enough in common to help keep things continuing to move forward. But first dates are so awkward it's difficult to click really well when you first meet. It requires time for you to develop a true relationship. And it takes conversation, lots of it and it takes playing together as a couple with activities, friends and families to see if anything is really there.
Instant intense chemistry like I'd with hubby #2, keeps natural advancement of the "getting to understand each other" process from happening. The chemistry provides you with a false sense of being in love if this turns out what you are really in is lust. We found ourselves feeling what we should thought was passion for each other so by date #3, it wasn't surprising when the "L" word appeared.
After knowing each other for just annually, i was married. The intense chemistry between us was still going strong and that we remained as using a lot of great sex but we were always angry at each other. Neither of our needs appeared to be met because of his wherewithal to communicate well. Yes, which was the red flag I overlooked and thought would correct itself with time.
As 2 years wore on, the chemistry never wore off. But, our arguments got more serious and started wearing on everyone. Without, a friendship, there was nothing to keep your marriage solid. Whenever we separated, I possibly could still feel a powerful tug at my heart and it took some time to stop wanting his physical presence within my life.
Even though this was such a painful period within my life, Used to do become familiar with a lot. I noticed that a relationship truly needs to develop at a slower pace and that its most significant quality may be the friendship that develops with time between a couple. As we age, sex can wane. It is the friendship, the same values and the fun you tell someone else that holds rapport together.
When you are in times where blinding chemistry turns up between you and a potential partner, take a deep breath so that as hard because it is going to be, slow down and give yourself a opportunity to find out if the two of you can work beyond the intense attraction. Learn from my mistakes. Divorce is hard on everyone and messy whether you've been married 24 years or 2.
If you have an initial date having a man and you feel like there is no chemistry, try going out again and see whether it develops over time. Often it will and it is this slow building type of chemistry that will create a lasting and enduring relationship between you and a "Quality Man". And that's what we all want no?