利用者:NickelsHardcastle86のソースを表示



I was molested as a child. Several times. By two different babysitters, (I had been 4 and 6) and twice by extended family members. (Once after i was 7, and I'll talk more about that one later since it had the most devastating effect on my psyche, and when when I was twelve) I am now admitting and covering this because they events affected my entire life becoming an adult. These experiences also were built with a profound impact on how I viewed my personal worth as a human being.

When you are 4 years old, and you are molested, the experience is much more of a sensational curiosity for you. You have no real concept that what's being carried out is wrong, with the exception that it simply feels wrong and for the secrecy on the part of the perpetrator. She or he acts secretive. So that's what gives you, the victim, the sense that it's wrong. Guilt ensues. When you're six years of age, when you still have the sense it needs to be kept secret, you have a feeling of your sexuality. Additionally you begin to sense this type of activity will "get" you attention.

In my article "When Did I Learn My own Worth?" - As we as individuals learn from an earlier age that our feelings don't matter, our "needs" aren't met nor could they be important, and we get "lost within the crowd" of other siblings, we form beliefs about ourselves. These beliefs instill in us that people are unimportant. That people don't really matter. At least very little. Even our idea of our very own personal safety may be in question.

[http://workitmom.com/blogs/members/genesishoward221/56661/asdfI%20was%20Molested I was Molested] 

When I was seven years old, my parents left me and my little sister within the proper care of some older teenage cousins when they and my aunt and uncle went. Very late, among my older male cousins found my sleeping bag and got me up and over towards the couch. He was 13 years of age and basically "went through the motions" of the sexual act with me. This was the most detailed I'd ever been molested, and while I had no clue what he was doing, I definitely felt that whatever it was, was wrong! But to me, that wasn't the worst part. When he was finished, he put me back to bed and leaned down, kissed me on my cheek and quietly said "Pray to God to forgive us!" I felt such as the sky had fallen in! At that moment, the guilt I felt made me feel like the worst individual whatever person lived!

That single event caused me to think which i was very "bad" and probably didn't deserve to be loved by anyone! I felt shame, guilt and i also had the "wrath of God" on me for the next 48 years! Needless to say, I became very promiscuous within my teenage years because I felt so worthless like a human being, that to be able to feel any value at all, I had to complete what boys wanted me to complete.

However, a few years ago, I experienced the biggest emotional breakthrough of my life. I'd a very kind person work with me using the art of NLP that included some specific NLP processes. I learned that behind every behavior there's a positive intention - not necessarily a suitable intention, but positive towards the person doing the behaviour. What "was in it" for those that molested me? Not immediately being able to question them outright all I'm able to do is assume that either they were molested themselves plus they felt this behavior was "normal", and / or they needed to feel "loved" in some perverted way and chose me to assist them to do this. Can one forgive them for this? I can now. It could happen to be much worse for me personally. They could have killed me and threw me in a hole somewhere but didn't. So for your Thx. I've my entire life.

The truth is, that kind of behavior perpetrated on a victim, either at random or a specifically chosen victim because he or she is "convenient", can take years, even a lifetime to overcome the hurtful effects.

It comes to this: When a person "molests" another, and the word "molest" is simply too kind of a word, she or he takes something which is easily the most precious towards the victim. Their dignity is stripped from their store - against their will - by having their most personal, private parts used for the perpetrator's own selfish gratification. It makes sense the victim's sense of personal value, his or her very worth as a human being is stolen in such a careless, ruthless manner. The victim then has to redefine their "self" and the world around them from that point on. One of two things sometimes happens: Either they eventually go "in search" of affection, which can be an artificial love through multiple unsatisfying sex partners, or they become so introverted from fear of this indignity being perpetrated on them again that they usually have difficulty trusting someone else or allowing themselves to commit to any type of relationship.

However the victim also has another option: The choice to not REMAIN a victim!

She or he had the traumatic experience or experiences forced on them by being taken advantage of by someone else or persons who have been mentally or emotionally incapable of finding love, feeling loved or showing love. They're essentially handicapped in this way, "hobbling" around like crippled, that they are. People who force their will on others have numerous more "issues" than sexually assaulting another. Did I "ask" for those experiences to occur during my life? Definitely not! Did I do something to give these persons reason to think I "wanted" it to occur? Absolutely not! Was it my fault? A resounding absolutely not! Where are these folks today? The first is divorced from his wife, in the 60's and trying to "find himself", living a very lonely life. Another is lying inside a hospital bed, dealing with drug addiction along with other health problems resulting from a life long use of alcohol and drugs. I however, am left standing, happy, productive, and have many people who love and take care of me! The babysitters? I've no clue.